just remembered i had this blog. funny funny. skimmed through the old posts, hah. all that teenage angst, the passion, the rage and the rants, i sure am quite a character. or was. i’m just a boring old fart now.
now that i have found my way back, expect to hear more from me, if there’s anybody actually reading me or whadchumacallit on twitter ‘following’ me that is 
Pulling all nighters is all I’ve been doing these days.. I end up staying up all night with the computer and my books trying to do work and end up doing something else. Grrrr.. I need to concentrate. There’s just two weeks left till the last day of school and I have tons of work to finish. Sighhhh..
On the Tibet front, things are still pretty messed up. The more I learn about the Chinese Government, the more I’m disgusted. It’s so annoying they’re now bringing up the whole ‘Dogyal’ controversy, when they’re the ones patronizing the deity. Why are they butting in everything? Pretty fucking pathetic. Funny I found a ‘China IS, WAS, and ALWAYS WILL BE a part of Mongolia’ group on facebook in response to the ‘Tibet IS, WAS.. ‘ one. It kind of made my day, and on the Taiwanese group they were making fun of how South Africa is a part of China coz some Chinese people went there centuries earlier. And Norway too! Seriously.. I’m afraid China will really start claiming the world if this doesn’t stop. But we all know DICKtatorships need to end and will end. AMEN.
Also, I didn’t get to go to the dialogue at Hampshire College with the Chinese students, but there’s an open forum at my school day after tomorrow and it’s going to be exciting, to say the least. All I know is we’ve got truth on our side.. BRING IT ON, gyarkos! We have a good list of arguments and I’ll post a summary up here one of these days.
As for now, you can enjoy this song and I’ll get back to my work. Adios.
Awesome animation!
Kudos to all the Londoners for the awesome action + the activists on the bridge who unfurled the banner! Congrats to Paris as well.. hah ya’ll gave Beijing a run for their money. So very proud to be a Tibetan right now, and a part of SFT. The banner unfurling at the Golden Gate bridge was just plain ahhhmaazingg!!
It’s 6:10 in the morning.. Saturday. I haven’t slept all night and I’m still not tired. Was joking around in the usual hub earlier and decided to blog. Lately it’s been ‘confession time’ for me on the internet. Something I fear.. I am usually the last person to come off all serious and pour my heart out to anyone (although they think they know everything). But the best part about it is because the person on the other side of the screen doesn’t know you, it doesn’t matter. You can just let it all out. It’s irritating. Life’s somewhat a mess, I miss being a child.. I miss home, I miss being around people I love, I miss not having to think and worry about anything. Papers, deadlines, exams, career.. life! I miss so many things it’s crazy. I miss playing hide-and-seek with my friends back in KG, I miss going swimming every Saturday with Kaydee and Angu during summers, I miss getting scolded by Mama for not concentrating on my studies, I miss inviting Tseten to stay over, I miss Daddy.. and his sense of humor and how we could understand each other without exchanging words. I miss fighting with acha, well I still do but it’s not the same now. I miss Pokhara.. where I grew up, where I learnt everything but more than that, I miss the people and the memories I have had there. Happy or sad, I miss them all. I miss joking around with my goofy friends and how they genuinely cared.. their innocence, how they’re still not corrupted with the ways of the world. I miss the food.. the smell.. everything. I miss getting teased around for being the ’smart one’ and I miss acting all nice. I miss Dickyi.. I miss having genuine friends. I miss you Yonten and it pisses me off to think I can’t see you ever anymore. I thought I’d always think of you after the accident but I’m sorry there’s so much going on already in my own life, it hasn’t been the case. I’m really sorry.. and I really wish I could have done something. I still miss you and I know I always will. Aaah.. I miss being in TCV. I never thought I would miss it but I do. I miss every moment of it.. well almost. I miss making fun of Seldon and still worrying about her. So many memories in a year.. It aches to think some of my favorite people are going through tough times, I wish I could do something, I wish I could fix all of their problems but I have mine to fix first. I wish they had their folks supporting them just like I had, I wish they never had to go through what they did. I miss listening to their stories and their encouraging words. Hah I miss having crushes and being crushed on.. man that tingly feeling. I miss having that one special friend to share it all with but I’ve moved on like the rest. I miss talking to them about things and knowing there’s always someone who will listen whatever crap I’ll say. I just miss not having to care about little things. Ewww I’m getting nostalgic and I know I should get over it. I know I have a long way to go but I can’t help it. I wish there was a time machine.. I’d go back in time and fix all the problems and be happy and not regret and miss things of the past. There’s this part of me which feels empty.. and I don’t really know why.
Found this beautiful poem on the internet. The waterworks are at full swing here by the way. Man I’ve become such a crybaby.. I can’t believe it’s really me.
Silence builds an awful wreckage of a girl
It feeds on loneliness and creates a void
Gray shadows haunt and torment and torture
A teenager is stricken and destroyed
There is no sound of laughter or happiness here
The little one has thrown in the towel today
Somber, melancholy moods decay the soul
It is futile to hope and dream and pray
Emptiness builds a home in this woman
In this girl, this child where hollows have bred
A deepening sea of nowhereness consumes
And eats away at every connecting thread
Confusion feeds like a savage inside her,
Leaving nothing considered worthy remains
Destined to walk through life less ordinary
Alone, exiled, different and disdained.
So my life right now is still pretty much dictated by the Tibet issue and school. We had our Global Day of Action at school and it was pretty good. We hung a few banners asking the community if China has lived up to the ideals of the Olympic Games and it’s apparently creating some hot discussion in the Chinese community at MHC. We never attacked anyone personally and our beef’s just with the Chinese Government, so we’ll just leave the rest to them to figure out.
There’s this article in the news today about China now claiming the Tibetans are planning suicide attacks. This is like the joke of the century.. do they think we’re absolute nuts or what? Why does it not go through their thick skulls that we’re not going to compromise on violence? Well, I guess I’ll say.. thanks for the laugh, if anything else.
Also in the news today, Bhaichung Bhutia is NOT going to run with the Olympic Torch and he made it clear it was in support of the Tibetans who are suffering right now. Gotta love the guy!! Yea yea Aamir wrote back to our comments on his blog too. He says he will still bear the torch but not in favor of China, but with a prayer for the Tibetans and everyone else suffering under human rights violations. Now of course I wished he didn’t draw those comparisons, but I gotta give it up to him for at least addressing our concerns. I love the support the Indian community (the people) is giving us right now, the Indian Government, well they can do a lot better!
On the family front, things are going good. My mom’s coming soon for acha’s graduation, it’s confirmed. So I’m happy and excited about it. I’m still waiting to hear from the Office of Tibet about the internship in Dhasa and the month’s going to be intense on the school front. Yes, I gotta work my butt off.. I will, I will. Oh there’s some masala cookin’ in some other department too, but let’s not go further on that. 
Check the pictures we took to facejam on the Global Day of Action, wearing green. Just for your eyes:
P.S It was fun april fooling a couple of people!
Third consecutive day of blogging. I’m sleep-deprived, confused, tired and a lot of other mixed emotions and thoughts are going through my head right now. The more I read and think, I realize the more confused I become. But I’m sure this means I have a lot more to learn..
So I was going through the SFT groups on facebook and the posts left by some ultra- nationalist Chinese students who believe ‘Tibet was, is and will always be a part of China.’ Now I have had enough encounters with them in the past and they haven’t been really productive, I must confess. They stick to the version of Tibetan history they learnt from their books and we have our own version that we believe in. So yeh, it’s usually them making such ridiculous claims and us denying the same. I think I wrote in my last entry about it already, so I won’t go into details. I hate it when they bring up Michael Parenti’s Friendly Feudalism: The Tibet Myth, that guy is totally biased and should not be used by anyone as a reliable source to cite from!
Anyways back to what I was going to say, I actually saw a couple of Chinese kids opening up to us after a lot of posts and one guy in particular, who didn’t believe in Tibetan Independence, actually raised a couple of important issues and thought China should improve its human rights record and the treatment of Tibetans and go to peaceful dialogues with the Dalai Lama to reach an agreement.
Similarly, I just got a message from my friend saying she just received this message from one of the Chinese girls on campus:
‘hey, how are you?
i was reading the news about the chinese government’s treatment to the tibetan protesters. its the tibetans’ pain and my shame indeed.
i apologize for what my country has done.
hope you are well.’
My friend believes she (the Chinese girl- let’s not name her) came across this article I posted on my Facebook just a couple of days back. It’s an article by a Han Chinese woman writer, Tan Danhong, on the recent crackdown in Tibet and helps you get an unbiased view on the same. She, along with a few other Chinese intellectuals condemned the crackdown. Read this NY Times article on the same.
The best solution would be for Tibet to get free. However, if we’re to be more ‘realistic’ and to think of ‘feasible’ solutions, it’s human rights, equality (to be treated equally as the Han Chinese migrants), opportunities of economic growth and rights to religion and freedom that the Tibetans inside Tibet want. Whether we believe in Rangzen or Genuine Autonomy, if the latter ensures the stated conditions to be fulfilled, I don’t think there would be any problem on either side. But with what the Chinese Govt. is doing and has been doing for the past 50 years, it is hard for us Tibetans to even trust them now and thus, the call for independence and the outburst from the youth. China should take this opportunity to have peaceful negotiations with the exile government and save its own face in the global community. People are changing and I hope the Government will change its policies too; I might just be hoping against hope but still somebody told me yesterday ‘the worst thing you can do now is to lose hope’. And so, I will hang on.
That’s all for tonight. More love and prayers to the Tibetans inside Tibet
Foreign journalists have finally been allowed to enter Tibet. Check this AP article on the same.The situation still seems, however, tense inside Tibet. Bush and the EU Parliament have spoken on Tibet finally and there’s a ray of hope I want to hold on to.
“It was interesting that President Hu said that the government was willing to continue contacts and consultations with the Dalai Lama as long as … there’s an abandonment of Tibetan independence and stopping activities that involve crimes and the use of violence.” Okay I get the abandonment of Tibetan independence part, but wait what?! ’stopping activities that involve crimes and the use of violence’? How did that guy even have the guts or the face to say it? I’m just plain amazed.
Prez Bush needs to take a firm stance on this issue, he can’t just be toying around with it now. It’s good to know he did something at least though. I see more hope on the European side.. they really do what they believe in. Sarkozy, the French Prez said he is considering boycotting the Olympics if Beijing continues the crackdown in Tibet. Very powerful move. Hoping to see more.. I have my fingers crossed.
Taking it to Bollywood, apparently Aamir Khan’s one of the torch bearers in the Olympic Torch Relay in India. Quite contradictory to his image, I know. Went on his blog and posted some comments and got a few more comments from other fans. With great thought-provoking movies he’s given us so far like Sarfarosh, Lagaan, Mangal Pandey, Rang De Basanti and the most recent Taare Zameen Par, and with the very daring stances he took on the Narmada case in Gujarat, I hope AK will live up to our expectations and take this issue seriously as well.
Btw I just found out Aamir’s fans call him “Ace Khan” as opposed to SRK who’s known as ‘King Khan’. Just a random piece of info… All my favorite movies I realized were Aamir’s though I’ve always been a big SRK fan. I’ll switch sides anyday if he boycotts the Games. Btw anybody excited about the IPL? Kolkata Knightriders all the way!! (you should know it’s just because of SRK, not a big Ganguly fan here. I’d go for Chennai Super Kings otherwise.)
Well that’s all for today.
With love and prayers to the Tibetans inside Tibet. Bhod Rangzen.
So I have finally decided to put an end to the very long hiatus I took from blogging. Obviously the hiatus was not intended to be one, like usual. I am the kind who would blog enthusiastically for a few days, make huge claims of continuing to do so and then completely forget I even owned a blog. Before the whole internet blogging thing happened, back in Nepal and India, kids and adults alike used to keep little diaries and they would jot down their thoughts every night before going to bed. And of course I too, being the very reckless and restless character that I am, would buy a nice diary before every New Year’s Eve, write until maybe January 10th (to the max) and the rest is well, history.
So this time I do not promise anything. Maybe this is my first and last entry on WordPress (I like the name by the way) or even the entire blogosphere, for that matter. However, I do feel the need to blog today.. have been feeling the same for the past couple of days actually. With what’s happening in Tibet and worldwide right now on the Tibet front, I feel the need for an outlet to vent my frustrations.. my anger.. my thoughts.. to retain the sanity in my life. If you are a Tibetan or anybody who cares about the Tibetan issue, you would know how the past few weeks have been. Starting March 10th, Tibetans have started protesting everywhere in the world and most surprisingly, inside Tibet where you get killed for keeping a mere picture of the Dalai Lama.
I have been following the news everyday and have seen both sides of the story and even if I try my best to be unbiased, I feel it’s just ridiculous that China’s blaming the Tibetans (the monks who started peacefully protesting) and the whole ‘Dalai Clique’ for the recent ‘riots’. Is it really that difficult for everyone to understand that if the Dalai Lama was behind all this, why wouldn’t He have done it sooner? It was just because of His Holiness that all Tibetans have been remaining calm and peaceful until now, but really, how long do they expect us to remain oppressed? But unfortunately, or fortunately all Tibetans are not Bodhisattvas, we’re just ordinary human beings who need basic human rights to live a decent living. The living conditions for the common Tibetan inside Tibet have been deteriorating despite China’s claims of ‘liberating and developing Tibet’ since ‘59 and the recent uprisings are evidences of this very fact. Tibetans are a minority in their own land right now, they do not have any freedom of speech and religion, the Han Chinese migrant workers and officials enjoy all the rights. So what if there are buildings and railway tracks in Tibet right now, we all know the motive behind it and honestly, Tibetans would much rather live in tents in an independent and peaceful Tibet than in big condos in Chinese occupied cities.
And then every time I start thinking about having dialogues with those who have different opinions than mine, it pisses me off that they bring the dates from History, like Tibet was once under China during the Ming Dynasty and it has been under China for a good 1000 years. Well in that case, China was under Mongolia like the rest of Asia, so shouldn’t China be a part of Mongolia now? Or better still, China should be a part of Japan.. why, have you forgot the Nanking Massacre? Is it that hard for the Chinese who still hold resentment against Japan for this event that took place earlier than the Tibetan occupation of China to think it’s stupid of us Tibetans to fight for our own country and people who are still going through the GENOCIDE? It’s always easy when you’re the oppressor, isn’t it? I just hope someday the people on the other side take some time to think with a rational mind and let go of their prejudices and unlearn what they learnt from the little red book or whatever books they use up there for the brainwashing. It’s about time…
Well I’m not going to rant away forever and stop here for now because I have a frickin midterm to study for, but like I said I needed to channel my frustrations in a positive way here.. and I sure don’t believe in violence being a peaceful Tibetan that I am. =P However, if China doesn’t clean up its act, who knows Tibetans would have to take up arms too someday.. Well I hope that day never comes. The international community has to intervene. I see most of the people in the democratic countries we are in support our cause but the governments are too selfish to look beyond the material benefits, but hopefully they will soon realize setting Tibet free will help them in return. Stop China from colonizing. Stop supporting lies. End the genocide in Tibet, Darfur, Xinzang and all other places. No Olympics in China until Tibet is free.
Rangzen
